5 Communication Mistakes Couples Make

coupleNo one is perfect. It may be cliché but it’s true. When you’re in a relationship with another imperfect person, communication will not always be easy. The key to helping your relationship to grow and blossom is to be aware of what communication mistakes are common in relationships and what you can do to avoid them in your own relationship. Here are the five most common relationship communication mistakes and what you can do to keep them out of your relationship.

Mistake 1: The Only Way to Solve Communication Problems is to Communicate More

There can be too much of a good thing. Chocolate cake, for instance, is pretty fantastic but too much chocolate cake may make you never want to eat chocolate cake again – and that would be tragic! Communication in relationships is just like that chocolate cake. If you talk every problem that you have to death, then it can become not only overwhelming to your partner, but you as well.

In a healthy relationship, you are not required to share every thought that comes to mind with your partner. It is important to learn the skill of self-editing, that way you can better identify what issues need to be discussed and focus on those issues.

The bottom line: Find the Goldilocks zone of communication – not too much, not too little, but just right.

Mistake 2: Assuming Your Partner Knows What You’re Thinking

If your partner had the ability to know what you were thinking then there would never be a need to communicate – and clearly that isn’t what’s happening when something is bothering you. You absolutely cannot expect your partner to know what is upsetting you unless you make them aware of it, and you definitely can’t get angry with them for something you’ve never communicated.

The bottom line: Tell your partner what you want them to know, don’t leave them to guess.

Mistake 3: Not Sharing What You Really Think

Some people are so adverse to the idea of confrontation that they avoid it at all costs, including when they’re in a discussion with a partner. If you want your relationship to be successful then you have to be unafraid to have your voice heard. You cannot back off of making your point in order to avoid an argument or a discussion that may be challenging but is no less important to have.

The bottom line: Always make your feelings known in a discussion.

Mistake 4: Not Truly Listening to Your Partner

Think about the last serious conversation you had with your partner and ask yourself if you were really listening to what they were saying or if you were planning your rebuttal in your head while they were talking instead. If this describes you, there is no shame in that game –  many people are guilty of this one. But, in order to solve important issues, you need to truly hear your partner and focus on what they’re saying.

The bottom line: Listen to your partner, and then give a thoughtful response addressing what they have actually said to you.

Mistake 5: Dodging Difficult Disputes

A relationship is not all puppy dogs and rainbows. There are going to be tough topics you have to tackle if you want to grow as a couple and move forward – yet many couples avoid difficult topics as if they were the plague.

If this sounds like you, the good news is tackling those toughies (which you absolutely can do) will only make the relationship stronger. Yes, that’s right – stronger! Getting through tough times will only serve to bring you closer together as a couple, so don’t fear them – embrace them and work through them together. You’re not alone in this, you’ve got each other.

The bottom line: Have the tough talks, you’ll be glad you did.

If you feel you need to make some communication changes in your relationship, a great place to start is to read this blog together. Discuss your own relationship communication style and how these points may pertain to your unique relationship. Remember, no one is perfect but with some hard work and an open mind you can be perfect for each other.

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